0800hrs and the Drivers branch were knocking at Mick the RMR Chef's door waiting to get tucked into the truckers breakfast before anyone else ( H, Jase Kilner, Fozzy, Pritch and Neil Midds ex D3).

Still toppers with scran the lads were soon on the training ground and working on set plays with Stevie Marr, Fozzy and 3 fingered Magsy in readiness for the evenings game against Whitley Bay.

With the afternoon off, the lads were ready and chomping at the bit for the game.

The tension an hour before kick off was immense, all the players and staff were very worried? Why you might think? its only a game?. Well it was nothing to do with the game, we were all waiting to see if kitman Andy Macfarlane had remembered to bring the kit!!(he blames a poor handover from Mark Stevenson).

The game got under way and for the first 40 minutes it was very even with both teams having half chances, Rog Bannister was playing in his slippers and every time he went to run after his man somebody put a tread mill under him, then with 5 minutes left the team performed a scene from the chuckle brothers (Ash, Kev Readings and guest starring, Richie Asson) an inside pass to keeper Kev from Richie was blasted straight at Ash two yards away and it cannoned back into an empty net, half time 0-1.(Well it was pantomime season).

The second half saw a lot of changes for both teams and a couple of quick goals from a youthfull Whitley Bay team saw them take a 3-0 lead which could have been more if not for debutant second half substitute goal keeper Jay Satchell 42 Cdo who made several superb saves to keep scoreline at 3-0. There was also confusion when Stevie Marr told Magsy to tell the team to go to a back 4, Magsy held up his 3 fingers and said "Terry switch to a back four".

After the game Neil Midds,Harry Richardson & Mitch polished off the jaffa cakes & Tel Price stowed a couple of bags of wine gums away for laters.

After the game the team went for a couple of soft drinks under the guidence of local lads Whiskey Groundsell, Sean Naisbett, Karl Lockhart and Rog Bannister who was in town with the Corps Swimming team.

 

Lots of sore heads today, our soft drinks must have been spiked ? Andy Macfarlane was investigating a crime that had happened a couple of weeks earlier, ex players Trev Ford & Paul Curry had reported that all their civvies had been stolen from their lockers, 4 suspects were seen wearing very dodgy Oxfam run ashore rigs usually seen on Trev & Cuzz, They were Si Bochenski, Harry Richardson, Buster Brown & Ryan Rule, there was a 5th suspect in Rog Bannister, but the chad as your dad clobber he had on proved to be his own.

1000hrs 6 aside football in the Gym was next on the agenda, over 35s versus under 35s, one major incident of note was when Magsy was about to unleash a pile driver into the under 35s net but was deliberatley clipped from behind by Harry Richardson and duly kicked fresh air & ended up on his arse pleading for a foul, however both teams fell about with laughter and this only fuelled Magsy's anger and for the next 10 minutes he tried to kick everybody up in the air.The over 35s of Tel Price, Fozzy, Mitch, Stevie Marr, Andy Mac and Rog Bannister went on to win about 7-6.

1400hrs An afternoon down the local sports centre jacked up by physio Whiskey G lasted about 30 minutes before the lads ended up in the sports bar, new boy Jay Satchell soon got introduced to the buffalo club and also got stitched up with the cork & fork and golf ball, needless to say he was carried out the sports centre in a bucket.

1800hrs And it was in the bar at RMR Tyne for a few soft drinks before going to the local Italian restaurant for a team meal, there was more evidence of Trev and Cuzz's clobber on show, either that or millets had a closing down sale. Everybody had pizza appart from Stevie Marr who had steak because he does'nt like pizza? Thats odd because Mitch caught him shovelling down 12 inch Garlic breads like Johnny Byrne in a cake shop.

After a bit of pizza throwing and a 3 fingered toast to Magsy & Corps Football, the team descended upon the Newcastle night life under the guidence of the Geordies in the squad.

 

0800hrs Chairman Mick Geldard & General Manager Ian Pomeroy rocked up on a flight from Exeter today and were soon tucking into breakfast with the rest of the squad, Pom had fetched some RMFA Polo shirts to sell to the lads and they were going like Hot Cakes, Neil Middleditch and Kev readings were first in the queue because they thought he was actually selling Hot Cakes.

1000hrs It was 7 aside football in the Gym again with Mick Geldard & Pom coming into the over 35s team at the expense of the dropped Andy Mac & Banny. Graeme Carr had joined up with the team after representing the Combined services against Hayes, He could'nt change the outcome of the 7 aside match as the over 35s proved too strong yet again.

1300hrs Tour of St James Park was next on the agenda, we were shown around by Chairman Freddy Shepperds flunky, Bob (who was Top draw by the way). Our Chairman Mick Geldard decided to treat the lads to a little Cameo role on the club piano and was very impressive ( he actually looks like Sir Elton john aswell). The Stadium was superb and Bob introduced us to Titus Bramble, & Graeme Souness who invited us to watch the first team train the next day,( after thinking about his offer for about a nano second we decided to accept this generosity).

1530hrs Tel Price "what time is the RMFA President rocking up Mitch". Mitch " about 1700hrs Tel, its all sorted dont panic".

1730hrs The squad set off to Benfield for the fixture against Newcastle Benfield Saints, on arrival Pom was seen stowing two boxes of jaffa cakes into his bag by Robbie Buglass who was gutted because he had his eyes on them.

With the President and Chairman at the game the pressure was well and truly on the management team and players to pull a good result out of the bag and end the tour on a high.

The team started brightly and the midfield of Bochenski, Carr, Naisbett and Asson soon took an hold of the game and things were looking very promising, the defence of Brown, Ashton, Price and Richardson were looking very solid and strikers Kilner and lockart were full of running, so it was no suprise when we took the lead, however it was a stroke of luck or a piece of genius by Richie Asson that broke the deadlock, His 40yd Cross come Shot from the right touchline sailed over the stranded goal keeper and into the net. An OG 10 minutes later meant we went into half time 2-0 up.

The lads went into the dressing room at half time only to find Neil Pritchard eating the melons through a tennis racket and all the Jaffa cakes were missing.

The second half saw the introduction of Lee Weatherall, Ian Pomeroy, Jay Satchell, Jase Margrett, Rog Bannister, Alex Allen and Robbie Buglass, they game stuttered along as a result of all the changes but Si Bochenski eventually scored from the penalty spot to make it 3-0, Benfield scored a late consolation goal to make the final score 3-1.

 

The team set off for the 10 minute trip to Newcastles training ground in a 10 vehicle convoy lead by local Quarter Wit Rog Bannister. 45 minutes later, and after a tour of Newcastle we eventually got to the ground.

We were met by Bob again and he took us to the training pitches, they were like carpets and Stevie Marr asked Bob what grass seed they used and what mix they used for the white pitch markings? Bob looked confused and swiftly moved on. We stood with Graeme Souness and Dean Saunders and watched the likes of Kluivert, Bellamy, Robert, Ameobi and Ambrose play a game of  6 aside football, the quality of their first was just superb and a joy to watch, the game however was breifly interupted when Magsy ran on the pitch for some autographs.

Magsy also interupted Alan Shearer's fitness test when he ran straight up to him and asked him to sign 2 footballs, which have now probably sold for a few bob on ebay.